I AM

I am.

I am innocent and pure full of joy I see on other faces

I am a tiny body of power and I play just living and being

No matter where I go there are smiles from all places

My eyes are open yet it only with my heart that I am seeing

I feel free and loved …In being I give without having to try

I enjoy the moments flowing, it ok to laugh and its ok to cry.

I stumble around getting to know my space.

I fall and get up trusting in my place

I giggle and fall and say Hi my name is April

At two years old I am tall inside say look at me I am pretty special

As I get bigger on the outside I get smaller on the inside

The others say stop that, be quiet, be careful, get out of my way

I learned not to be me anymore it was not OK

I learned to get love there was always a price

I learned to be funny I thought this was right

As a teen I rebelled allot said look at me

Isn’t it OK just look you will see?

I know I am good but why won’t you love me

What is it about me that they cannot see?

I continue with this mask it has worked so good

What the hell do I do, I do what I should

My soul continued to cry, cry even louder

I can’t take this anymore I am me and I have to be

I know I am not happy and not willing to settle

I can’t be like them drowning in the bottle

I look at my daughter and son that need me now

I will not abandon them, be strong but How?

I’ve looked for love outside for so long

It keeps coming back to within lives my song

So here I sit in this internal storm I can’t continue to blame anymore

How do I do it where is this magic door?

God shrink me down to when I was two so that I will know you I am

And what to do.

I walk tall proud of me, saying Hi I am April look at me.

I will accept you no matter what you say because we are all

Alike God made us this way.

The lines in my face show pain and laughs

I have given so much on this worthy path

I cannot change who I am you see

It is time to let go and let me be me.

Rest and love is all we need.

Today I accept this body as is

I will rest and love only be for now

Because that is the gift to share that is how.